DENUNCIATION OF A SINNER

 

these days, I am sublimating my rage with a j and a Junior’s cheesecake
I miss the mélange of feelings I had for my professor’s

red velvet chuck Taylors
I have been feeling like an insane housewife

from one of the square states, like I am a Francis
Farmer meets Bacon blunder, I am a hoarder

turned collector of half-hearted one-way love
affairs of my own making, of the atrophy of my mind

*

I am one bi-level haircut away from a Lilith fair
I am desperate and cooking twined

searching for someone with an adequate baster
I just want to occupy someone’s air like their personal sylph

I want to be a hummingbird with a forked tail
sitting on their shoulder while they make love

to their disinterested wife
I want to be the ribbon of light lifting you towards her

*

I am a designer, I am a deceiver
a character actor shrouded in a silk damask curtain

I hide within when I hear the key turn in the door
I wait for you to drop your rain slicker on the ottoman

I listen for your sharp inhalations between notes
as your croon along with Freddie on the radio: can anybody find me

 

*

in my childhood playbook, of which I’m the main character,
I overcome the perennial Neuroses Monster

I tumble down my rebirth canal and find you are on the other side
dear reader, dear teacher, I am guilty of transference

​

I make to you this offering: my inexhaustible love and busy fingers
in exchange for you at the end of me