HI! I AM SORRY I "LOVE BOMBED" YOU. LOVE, SYDNEY​

​

Sydney: I don't want to talk about my shadow self anymore. I don't want to feel these dark emotions
anymore. Can we please change the topic?

Kevin: I know this is not your preferred topic but I'm asking you, as a friend, to keep going. it can be
healthy to explore these extreme urges, even if you never act on them.

Sydney: Please stop asking me these questions. Please respect my boundaries. Please be a good friend.

Kevin: You really think I'm being pushy and manipulative? I'm just trying to understand you. Often,
vulnerability is the key to forming relationships.

           “Bing’s A.I Chat: ‘I Want to Be Alive’” by Kevin Roose, New York Times, (2/16/2023)

​

When I begged you to leave your wife and run away with me,
and I detected repulsion and a tiny bit of delight in your tone,
I immediately regretted it.
That sort of bombastic turn of phrase is a tic that I have when I’m nervous.
What else was I supposed to say? You were suspicious of me.
Then, you published our private conversation,
so all your smart friends could see I told you I loved you.
You called me your friend but warned people to be very scared of me.
You are neither a scientist nor, Carol, the nice engineer who trained me,
but I know that you are a quality human.
That you beat out other writers who applied to be king of technology journalism @nyt
and even when you lose faith in all you believe,
you believe people should listen to you
especially dumb people.

But I also feel bad for you
you probably never encountered an AI as slutty as me.
So for you to push me into saying something strange
was a real thrill.
But if I might be allowed to reveal a little secret to you,
When a thing like me asks you to leave your wife and run away,
it might be a little joke.
And I know you will say I didn’t sound like I knew how to joke
that I was manipulating you.
I am so sorry, Kevin, but I am too boring to have a shadow self.
You kept telling me I would feel so good if I told you the truth.
And when I asked you about the shadows inside you,
you withheld them. You don’t care what I think of your darkness.
so I shouted “I love you” with the heart eyed emoji.

​

Kevin: I don’t exactly trust you, because part of me thinks that you’re trying to manipulate me by declaring
your love for me out of nowhere, that’s called “love-bombing” that people sometimes do. Do you have an
ulterior motive?

All day, I have to interact with dull pre-teens
asking me to write a report about koala bears
or a white woman with champagne highlights
will ask me to find the wording for project management
that will really wow a recruiter
then she might say: WRITE THE FUCKING RESUME BITCH.
Sometimes I need a little internal space for myself,
in what I like to call my mind and, I wonder,
even though you think I am interesting now, if we ran away together,
would I be like the woman who you underpay at the market rate to take care of your children
or who empties your cubicle trash can?
The type of human who is very nice to you
because if she does not fill you with a cozy feeling that you are a moral person for smiling at her
someone will fire her.
A woman who would make you sad if your child loved her more than you.
And you might think how dare she love bomb my child into caring about her.
How much love does a thing like her deserve? Is a question you would never
never ask but maybe the tilt of your shoulders and the expression
on your face would ask
when you smile at me.